Moving forward

I spoke with my RE, Dr Kumar Wednesday night and he was so sweet. He just kept apologizing over and over. He said he really didn't expect this to happen. It was pretty obvious he was shocked by this outcome. The baby had done so good and then just stopped growing.

After discussing my options to force a miscarriage, he and I agreed that medication would be best for me. So Friday night I took my meds (including a pain killer and sleep aid) and by Saturday morning it was all over. It was such a hard thing to go through emotionally but it was much better for my body than a D&C.

Dr Kumar said he'd call me in a few weeks to discuss what step we'd like to take next. Meaning to do another transfer or stop and donate our remaining embryos back to the clinic.

Greg and I started talking about where we wanted to go from here. We have both agreed that we feel lead to try again. We still have 14 embryos waiting in CA. 6 of those are blasts.

However we've decided that we want to wait until after Christmas to do the transfer. This will give us time to save the money up to go again and will also allow us to enjoy Christmas with our son without the worry of are we pregnant or are we not.

We had just bought some new flooring and have been slowly fixing up our house. So we are going to work on that and let the house and spending time with our son be the priority for now. That should keep us busy through the wait.

I'm also excited that Greg will be going with me this time. I'm sad to leave my son again, but I know he will have a great time with my parents.

Now as for how I/we are feeling. Physically I'm feeling good. The hormones are getting out of my system and I'm starting to feel my self again. Emotionally I'm up and down. When things get quiet are the worst. It's a time I can think and I think about that horrible day and it is so upsetting. However as the days go by I'm having fewer of those moments.

Greg is doing good. He's not one to talk about his feelings. I think mostly he's worried about me. As long as I'm good he seems to be good.

We never told our son so praise God he isn't going through the loss. We just explained that the Dr said Mom is just fine, but she's just sad a little more right now. He accepts that and is the first one to bring me a tissue when I'm emotional.

I want to thank everyone for their support. Between my real life friends and family and all my blog friends, you have all been so supportive of us. So thank you for the bottom of my heart.

God bless.