Call me crazy but.....I POAS and.....

I saw this!!!!

If I'm counting right I am 5dp5dt (for those who don't know that's 5 days past a 5 day transfer). I didn't get a +++ until 8dp5dt last time and it was an even fainter line than this that time!!! While I am thrilled to see that I'm pregnant I am also fully aware of the fact it's very early and that could change. However, I'm choosing to live in the moment and enjoy EVERY second of my journey and especially EVERY second of this +++ pregnancy test. :)

Oh and POAS is peed on a stick. I know one dear friend who might not have gotten that. ;)

Praising God for this wonderful blessing and praying these babies continue to stick!

Heading home tomorrow!!

While I enjoy the time away and the relaxing time, I miss my son terribly. Thanks to modern technology we've been able to talk to him on Skype every day. I think that's helped me and him both. I've not worried about him nearly as much and only once has he said he missed us. Also I'm able to tell how happy he is with his grandparents. We will be flying out around 1pm tomorrow and landing in Memphis around 9pm. It'll be a long day, but we'll get there. As for how things are going since transfer, I haven't had any sickness or dizzy spells like before. I did have a few twinges yesterday and today I'm having what feels like mild cramps off and on. Pregnancy symptoms???? Who knows. I'm trying to not put alot of thought into it right now. Will I POAS (pee on a stick) before my beta??? Yes I know that I will. I think I'll wait until at least day 8 or 9 (beta is on day 10), but I know for sure I'll POAS at some point. I just don't want to be at work and get the call. Whether it's good news or bad news I will be very emotional and I don't want to deal with that at work. Never in my life did I think I wanted twins. Even last transfer while I never prayed to lose one of the embies, I also never prayed for twins. This time however I AM praying for twins. I'm praying they both attach and that we have HUGE betas next week. =)

Praising God and the 2WW

So here they are!!! My babies!!!! Aren't they just beautiful!!! :~D

I have to first of all praise God for a easy transfer today and for the fact that only two embies needed to be thawed. We didn't lose any!

It all was very uneventful. Dr K said everything looked good and the embryos looked great. We went into the procedure room and waited for the embryologist. When she came in she showed us the picture and said they looked really good.

We waited what seemed like forever for Dr K. His office was SO busy today. He did the transfer and then patted me on the arm and told me it went perfect. He wished me good luck and told me to stay positive. I love that man! He is the best in my opinion.

Since then I've been in the bed resting and just enjoying having my husband wait on me. :~)

The pregnancy test is April 5th. I'm excited to hear that I'm pregnant. (see...thinking positive here!)

Hello from Thousand Oaks, CA!!!

We made it safe and sound today. We had a comfy ride in the town car. Went and bought a few groceries, and spent the evening enjoying each other's company. We went to the movies, had dinner at The Lazy Dog (zucchini fries are the bomb!) and took home a slice of cheese cake from The Cheesecake Factory (YUM!). I highly recommend the tiramisu! We finally made it back to our room just a few minutes ago.

The coordinator called and said they have moved up our transfer to 9:45!!! So we will be at the office at 9:00. I still can't believe I'm back here again and already about to have my transfer in a little more than 12 hours.

I am still very much at peace with all of this. I'm not overly excited or scared. Just peaceful. It feels SO good to be able to just let go (at least for now).

We are staying at the same hotel I stayed at last time. I LOVE this place! The funny part is that we got the room directly across from the room I had last time!

Anyway, don't know when and if I'll get to blog tomorrow. If history repeats itself, the one valium will knock me on my butt tomorrow and I'll get some much needed sleep.

It's about time....

For us to fly out of here and head for CA!!! This morning I hugged and kissed my son goodbye as I headed off for my last day of work for the next 6 days!!! He will be spending the week with my parents. Three of those days they are taking him camping. They've rented a cabin about 2 1/2 hours from our house to spend some time away. I asked him if he was looking forward to it and he said "No I wasn't until PawPaw said he'd take me fishing." LOL That boy cracks me up.

Tomorrow morning Greg and I will board the plane and make our way to CA. It's a very early flight so I'm hoping I can get plenty of rest tonight. I was sick with sinus stuff 2 weeks ago and was finally about over it and then I got it again this weekend. So I'll be traveling with a stuffy nose and coughing/sneezing my way there. UGH! Not how I'd hoped I'd start off my journey, but oh well I'll just go with the flow.

I spoke with the coordinator a few days ago and she said they have me tentative for noon on Friday. I'm ready. (I think) :~) I like to have connections to special days and so my connection to Friday is it's my sister's anniversary and a very good friend of mine's sister's birthday! (all about the sisters LOL)

So next time I write I'll be sitting in my comfy bed in CA!!!

Happy Patty's Day! (u/s & bloodwork day)

Today I had my 3rd u/s and blood draw. The u/s tech said that my lining is at 15mm!!!! That's just 1mm shy of what I was last time the day before transfer. This time next week I'll be in CA. As it's getting closer I'm actually starting to look forward to it. I think I've been just so reserved about it up until now because I didn't want to get excited. I'm still not overly excited, but at least I am happy about it now. :~)

I'll find out later this afternoon if the Estrace has helped raise my estrogen levels to where Dr. K wants it. With it being St. Patrick's day I'm hoping it'll be my lucky day all the way around. ;~)

I canNOT end this email with out praising my heavenly Father for this blessing. I have two family members who would LOVE to have children, but can't afford to adopt (whether adopting embryos or children already born). I thank God that I've been able to do both! God gave us our precious son and has also blessed us with our 16 embryos.

Emotional Rollercoaster

I've been on an emotional rollercoaster all weekend. The estrace had kicked in for sure. I've got this dull headache that I can't get rid of. Not a horrible headache like a migraine, but just this dull pain.

DH did my delestrogen shot last night and move a little too far to the inside and it hurt and burned SO bad. I've only had that happen one other time and it is NOT something I care to have happen again.

At first I got upset and raised my voice and when he went to comfort me I broke into pieces and cried like a baby. Poor guy didn't know what to do. LOL

I also had my first moment of fear and anger. Fear that this will not work and anger that I'm even going through this. That was the first time I've EVER had the feeling of not wanting to go through with this. It scared me and I had to really evaluate why I was having that feeling. I think it's got alot to do with hormones and a little to do with deep down fear of being hurt again.

Outside of that incident I've yet to really have much of any emotion about this transfer. I'm not overly excited, sad, anxious or anything. Really a weird thing for me and I'm usually SO one way or the other. I'm never indecisive about anything.

Still hard for me to grasp the idea that I'll be in CA in just 10 days.

Much better day today

I heard from my OB's office this morning that the lab completed my estrodial and that it was faxed to CA. Yay! Then around noon the coordinator in CA called to tell me my estrogen was a little low so they want me on 2mg of Estrace starting today. I haven't had to take that before. Last time I breezed through with just delestrogen and PIO. Looks like this time that's not the case. Hopefully the Estrace will be just enough to get my levels up where they should be.

The coordinator told me I'd need to call my pharmacy and see if they have it. I thought, "Oh I hope they have it!" I use a very small pharmacy. Otherwise I'd have needed to do some calling around. Well I called my pharmacy and sure enough they have it in stock!

So I'll pick that up this afternoon and start it tonight.

I also wanted to mention this awesome prenatal vitamin I've been taking. I've never really mentioned my other meds before. I take 1500mg metformin (for PCOS), a folic acid, B12, and a prenatal I get from Target. It's a gummy vitamin and it is SO good. It's a really sweet candy taste and I love it!

2nd Ultrasound and Bloodwork

I had my second lining check and estrodial today. It all went pretty well. The lab tech said my lining was nice and thick. She faxed the results right away and then I went for the blood draw. All day I've expected a call from my coordinator (she usually calls around 6pm). Well about 4:45 I got a call from her so I knew something was wrong.

She tells me she hasn't gotten my lab results. (UGH!) So I call the OB's office and the girl sends me to voicemail!!! Even after I told her why I was calling and how important it was. I hung up and called right back and asked to speak to a live person. She says, "well what do you want me to do?!?" Uh....give me to a person who can help me!!! She then give me to someone and the lady was really nice. She said she'd look into it and call me back. 5 minutes later she calls to tell me the lab's computers where down and they didn't know when they'd be back up so my blood wouldn't be processed until tomorrow!!!

I called the coordinator back and told her. She called Dr K and he said to just stay at 0.25mL delestrogen until further notice. Hopefully we will get my labs tomorrow and if I need more delestrogen, I'll catch up on Sunday's dosage. *sigh*

I was so annoyed with the OB's office and the lab that I forgot to ask the coordinator my lining measurement. Oh well. I would like to know, but it's not that important.

To add to my stress, my boss was on a rampage today and although I was not in the middle of his war path (thank goodness!) I still had to hear him rant and rave. Then I come home and my satellite is still not working and I just spend the last 2 hours on the phone and/or on chat trying to get it back up and running.

So while not a horrible, life threatening day, still a pain in the butt, stressful day no less. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!!

Oh and just 2 weeks until we see our precious babies!!!!

And the shots begin....

This afternoon DH gave me my first of MANY shots. I'll be taking my delestrogen on Sundays and Thursdays. He did remember how to do it. ;~)

Then reality hit....OMGosh!!! We are REALLY doing this!!! I got all the butterflies in my stomach as I realized this is really happening. I also got scared and immediately started praying to God. This will be a true test of my faith.

My boss told us Friday that there WILL be layoffs in our department. There are just 15 of us in my department so that's pretty scary. He knows I'm about to have my transfer so he called me in by myself to let me know about the layoffs (still don't know who it will be though). I thanked him for the heads up, but then told him I had fully considered everything and felt the transfer should go forward. I truly feel God is leading me to continue this transfer even though there is a risk of me losing my job. Talk about FAITH. Well it's taking all the faith I've got to move forward right now. I will NOT let fear hold me back! :~D

Thursday is ultrasound day. I'm hoping my lining will grow as good as it did last time. The day before transfer last time, I was 16mm.

We still have 14 embryos available. 6 are 5-day and 8 are 3-day so no worries there. Plenty of embryos, but just as last time we pray that only 2 will need to be thawed so that they are ALL given a chance at life.

Baseline U/S and bloodwork

Today I went for my baseline u/s and bloodwork. I've not heard what the bloodwork was yet, but my OB met with me to tell me the results of my u/s. She said it all looked good from her prospective. My lining was 1.5mm and the cyst that I had after last time is gone now. (WooHoo!) She also said my uterus was nice and smooth inside. :~)

I had some issues with getting beta tests and stuff back to my clinic in CA in a timely manner last time so I was considering changing OBs. I ended up not changing and now I'm glad I didn't. Today my OB walked me around to each person who will be handling some part of my file throughout this process and explaining to them that I was a special case and that they were to do anything I asked them. She said, "She knows what she needs so please make sure you do what she asks." I like that! Hopefully this time will go much smoother on that end of things.

I also was pleased to find out that I've LOST 10lbs since my last OB visit!!! I wasn't trying to lose weight, but could certainly stand to lose it so I was pleased.

So I'm now waiting for official word from my clinic in CA that I'm good to go for the 25th!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just spoke with the coordinator and we are a GO!!!! I start my delestrogen on Sunday and have another u/s and bloodwork on Thursday next week. I just booked our flights!!!! CA here I come!!!

I have a tentative date!!!!

AF finally showed up!!!! I emailed my clinic and the coordinator called me back about an hour ago to ask me when would I like to come!!!! I told her ASAP! :~)

She said I could have my transfer the 24th or the 25th of this month at the earliest. So I chose the 25th. I have to call tomorrow and schedule my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork for this Thursday. As long as all goes well with that, I will be seeing my babies on the 25th!!!!

I am SO excited. I'm glad I waited so long between transfers because I've done my grieving and now I can be fully joyous about this transfer.

I was hoping to be gone the week before while my son is on spring break, but at least he won't be back at school but one day when we fly home.

OMGosh!!! I'm going to be back in CA in just 3 weeks!!!!!!!!!!