Putting things into prospective

I've been on this woe is me pity party for months.  I've convinced myself not to go back to CA again (even though Greg doesn't agree and has asked me to go one more time).  I've even told myself over and over that I'm wasting time and money because it's not going to work anyway.  Like I said, HUGE pity party.

Yesterday I was reading the blog of a lady I've followed for a long time.  She is the one who actually told me about Dr. K in the first place.  Anyway her blog referenced another blog of a lady that needed pray.  I went to that blog and began reading.  Come to find out, this lady was blessed with triplets.  Those little boys are 6 months old.  The other day one was laid down for a nap and when she went to check on him he was on his stomach and not responsive.  Long story short they are doing tests on him now to see if he is brain dead.  (They are pretty sure his soul is already gone.)

I read pages and pages this lady had posted over the last several days and what caught my attention was how much she leaned on God for strength and how she held out such high hopes that her son would recover.  I read where she said he would never be the same, but as long as he was with them that's all that mattered.  Unfortunately it looks like he will pass away very soon (once they unhook the machines).  However even in their grief, they are donating every organ possible.

Reading this lady's blog really put things into prospective for me.  While yes I have a right to mourn the loss of my babies, I seem to have forgotten to praise God that I got to carry those babies even if for a short while.  I also have forgotten to praise God for the beautiful son I have here on Earth with me.  Instead of giving up hope that I'll get pregnant and keep a pregnancy next time, I should be praising God for the finances to do another transfer and praying that he lets me keep at least one of my babies on Earth this time.

I can't even imagine what that lady is going through, but she has truly helped me put things in prospective and realize that I need to get my head out of the sand, hold it up high, and remember that no matter what God has EVERYTHING under control.