Waiting & Memorial Weekend

I've waited all of May for AF to arrive so I would finally have to decide if we were going back to CA or not.  Now that I've finally made the decision to honor Greg's wishes and go back one last time, AF just won't come.  I emailed the coordinator at the clinic today to ask what I should do and she told me to "just wait and it will come".  UGH!!!  Yet again something out of my control.

I was cleaning out some things in our room this morning and found the picture of my last 2 embryos.  It made me sad, but it was the first time I didn't cry when I saw them.  Maybe I'm finally getting over that hump.  I sure hope so.  I hate feeling so down.  It really scared me when I was bad.

I guess my biggest reason for wanting to know when is about the money.  I have all but $400 of the money I need already in my bank account.  However we just finished fixing our pool and we need some supplies to build some steps so that I can get in and out of the pool  (no more pool ladders for me!  I hurt myself really bad a few years ago on a ladder and haven't been on one since).  I don't want to spend into my trip money though just in case AF comes and we are able to get started in the next week or so.  Decisions, decisions.  I want to swim SO bad.  I love swimming.  It's probably the only exercise that I truly enjoy.

It is Memorial weekend.  Normally it's pretty quiet around our house on this holiday.  However, we decided to have a cookout with my parents.  Greg is going to fix his famous ribs.  (YUMMY!)  We will also have baked beans and potato salad.  Mom's bringing a dessert.  Should be a fun time of eating some great food and visiting with my parents.  Also a good time to get my mind off things.